Leslie interviews Ebony Tutora, pioneer of Women’s Community for Self Love and Improvement
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LT: What do you think is plaguing the youth today?
ET: We live in a world where we have lost the essential realities of life. There is a blurred line between what is real, and what is created. With the impact of social media, as well as television, our perception of life has somewhat been altered. Many are looking to live up to unreasonable standards, as well as many do not have the tools or guidance to understand that life is about being joyous, authentic, and finding what ignites our soul. Too often we are operating in the shell of who we are, and not the soul of who we are.. which is essentially that grander part of ourselves.
LT: Whats your motto in general.
ET: My motto is to find yourself, know thyself, and seek to live your life as your most divine authentic self.
LT: Hi Ebony Tutora, welcome to “My Legacy with Leslie series”. I am so honoured and to be part of your self-help community for women.Tell us more about your fabulous journey, you have been impactfully using your voice and have a huge team helping, guiding people in need...
ET: My journey has been a lifetime in the making, as I knew at the age of 19 that I was destined to help women. I encountered a situation where an ex-boyfriend held me hostage for a day, and raped me. However, being raped was my blessing because he had fallen asleep, and that allowed me to escape. After this I began to search for the meaning of life, myself, and God... wondering why did I survive, and HOW had I allowed myself to be in such a situation when I knew I deserved better. He was always pretty violent, so this escalated situation was nothing more of a manifestation of abuse.
I began speaking out about my story to others in 2016, right after I launched my brand Queens Recognize Queens®. I realized that many of us women project our insecurities and fears onto other women, and this leads us to a catty nature, and not appreciating the stories that many of our sisters have in their own lives. I wanted to develop a brand that not only allowed women the spaces to curate lifelong friendships, and bonds. But, also spaces that allowed us to talk about these fears, insecurities, and thoughts that we often keep within our own minds.
I wanted to share my journey of healing, transformation, and mindset mastery... and infusing that into the brand would give women powerful tools to continue to grow, and lead a life of unlocking their full potential. I don't have a huge team right, now. It's just me. However, part of our goal is to collaborate with other women in many capacities to not only extend our reach, but to be a pillar of true sisterhood & collaboration. Collaboration is the new competition.
My goal is to eventually run a international brand where events are held throughout the world, in and effort to empower all women by sharing insight, wisdom, and tools for growth. In many cultures, even America, woman are encouraged to "stay in their place." My purpose is to stand in power, and show women that OUR place is in leadership, healing, and leading a new generation of thought, technology, and global change. Our voices are valid, and necessary in this very much patriarchal world. We create the much needed balance the world needs.
THANK YOU QUEEN!!
LT: What do you think is plaguing the youth today?
ET: We live in a world where we have lost the essential realities of life. There is a blurred line between what is real, and what is created. With the impact of social media, as well as television, our perception of life has somewhat been altered. Many are looking to live up to unreasonable standards, as well as many do not have the tools or guidance to understand that life is about being joyous, authentic, and finding what ignites our soul. Too often we are operating in the shell of who we are, and not the soul of who we are.. which is essentially that grander part of ourselves.
LT: How do you prioritise your day with so much work n duties going in your life?
ET: Great Question! I try to be extremely self aware, and create times for doing each thing that is needed. Most will spend unnecessary time scrolling through social media, or doing meaningless activities. While these may be essential once in a while to not make life so serious and structured all the time, the main key is to focus on your goals, and to create daily consistent actions that lead to them. Balance is essential, but for everyone this will look different. One must know their values and assess if what they do daily really reflect what they value.
LT:What causes you are passionate about?
ET: I am extremely passionate about helping women heal. I believe women have, and still are oppressed in so many ways, and have accepted so many beliefs around what it means to be a woman, that we are afraid to do things that may go against the grain. Before my own healing journey, I spent years in non-profit with low-income communities, and realized that you can give others resources, but if you are not teaching them how to become powerful in their own right, are you really helping them? Many social causes are not touching on the root of many issues, and simply add bandaids to the problems. I believe in empowering others will tools of seeing life through wisdom, grace, understanding, and healing past our own hurts and pains, so we can unlock our potential in a way that is not driven by pain or fear. They can be equally as driving as love and passion.
ET: I am extremely passionate about helping women heal. I believe women have, and still are oppressed in so many ways, and have accepted so many beliefs around what it means to be a woman, that we are afraid to do things that may go against the grain. Before my own healing journey, I spent years in non-profit with low-income communities, and realized that you can give others resources, but if you are not teaching them how to become powerful in their own right, are you really helping them? Many social causes are not touching on the root of many issues, and simply add bandaids to the problems. I believe in empowering others will tools of seeing life through wisdom, grace, understanding, and healing past our own hurts and pains, so we can unlock our potential in a way that is not driven by pain or fear. They can be equally as driving as love and passion.
LT: Who are your inspiration?
ET: Firstly, it would absolutely be my grandmother. She was such a pillar of strength, and the first person I called Queen. We used to joke when I was a kid and wave to each other like queens, and she always said, "Keep your head high, and shoulders back." Thus, my saying, "Don't trip or the crown slips." Secondly another influence on my life was Oprah. Not because of her affluence, but because after being raped, I looked for people who were successful even after experiencing such circumstances. I already loved her due to my interest in wanting to be in television, but after that experience it was more of a spiritual connection with her. After many years her work took a spiritual shift, which made me love her even more. I am also inspired by people who were mentors to me during my chaotic childhood, as well as people like my uncle who turned their pain into a passionate career helping others.
ET: Firstly, it would absolutely be my grandmother. She was such a pillar of strength, and the first person I called Queen. We used to joke when I was a kid and wave to each other like queens, and she always said, "Keep your head high, and shoulders back." Thus, my saying, "Don't trip or the crown slips." Secondly another influence on my life was Oprah. Not because of her affluence, but because after being raped, I looked for people who were successful even after experiencing such circumstances. I already loved her due to my interest in wanting to be in television, but after that experience it was more of a spiritual connection with her. After many years her work took a spiritual shift, which made me love her even more. I am also inspired by people who were mentors to me during my chaotic childhood, as well as people like my uncle who turned their pain into a passionate career helping others.
LT: Do you have any icons that you look up to?
ET: Absolutely Oprah. Hands down. Beyonce for her grace and work ethic. Especially her duality in being a classy woman, but also because she is not afraid to be sexy.
ET: Absolutely Oprah. Hands down. Beyonce for her grace and work ethic. Especially her duality in being a classy woman, but also because she is not afraid to be sexy.
LT: What were the defining moments and advise that helped you achieve your goals?
ET: Defining moments would be after being raped and held hostage by an ex-boyfriend. After that my spiritual journey was heightened to ask who was God, and why did I survive? Growing up Christian, as well as in many other religions we are taught to count others out if they don't believe what we believe. That they are destined for hell. That never resonated with me, because I have witnessed good and bad people from all walks of life. So my pursuit began then, although as a child I was also very connected to others and the want to understand the universe and my purpose here. The world was always such a mystery to me. Advice? My grandma always gave great advise like, "never look at the big picture.' This was her advice she'd give when I was looking at all the things going wrong in my life, she'd say focus on one thing. Don't overwhelm yourself by looking at it all.
ET: Defining moments would be after being raped and held hostage by an ex-boyfriend. After that my spiritual journey was heightened to ask who was God, and why did I survive? Growing up Christian, as well as in many other religions we are taught to count others out if they don't believe what we believe. That they are destined for hell. That never resonated with me, because I have witnessed good and bad people from all walks of life. So my pursuit began then, although as a child I was also very connected to others and the want to understand the universe and my purpose here. The world was always such a mystery to me. Advice? My grandma always gave great advise like, "never look at the big picture.' This was her advice she'd give when I was looking at all the things going wrong in my life, she'd say focus on one thing. Don't overwhelm yourself by looking at it all.
LT: What’s your philosophy in life?
ET: Question everything you've been told, dismiss what insults your soul. -Walt Whitman. I live by this quote, and have for over 15 years. By no means am I interested in fitting in, nor am I interested in following the constructs of society just because they are popular, widely accepted or common. I mean, once slavery was widely accepted. So to me that's an example of how society can agree on something, but that doesn't make it right.
ET: Question everything you've been told, dismiss what insults your soul. -Walt Whitman. I live by this quote, and have for over 15 years. By no means am I interested in fitting in, nor am I interested in following the constructs of society just because they are popular, widely accepted or common. I mean, once slavery was widely accepted. So to me that's an example of how society can agree on something, but that doesn't make it right.
LT: Do u watch movies? Which are your 5 fav movies of all time?
ET: Ahhhh, great question. I love documentaries, and films that represent a needed change. However, there are movies that I will love for life. One of them being "Love & Basketball," simply because it's iconic to my childhood. "The Wizard of Oz," even more so now that I'm an adult and can see so much symbolism in it. "The Secret," was a catalyst movie shown to me right after being in the rape situation. I can't think of any others that stick out to me.
ET: Ahhhh, great question. I love documentaries, and films that represent a needed change. However, there are movies that I will love for life. One of them being "Love & Basketball," simply because it's iconic to my childhood. "The Wizard of Oz," even more so now that I'm an adult and can see so much symbolism in it. "The Secret," was a catalyst movie shown to me right after being in the rape situation. I can't think of any others that stick out to me.
LT: Your fav books?
ET: Motivation Manifesto -Brendan Bruchard
ET: Motivation Manifesto -Brendan Bruchard
Living Your Best Life -Laura Berman Fortgang
7 Habits of Highly Effective People -Stephen Covey
The Queen Code -Molesy Crawford
The Four Agreements -Don Miguel Ruiz
ET: My motto is to find yourself, know thyself, and seek to live your life as your most divine authentic self.
LT: What is your message to youth today?
ET: Strive to stand out. Fitting in never allows you to be unique. Look past your circumstances, and dream big. Our stories no matter how bad are meant to propel us into our best selves. Pain can be turned into power becuase the more wee seek wisdom as we grow the more we can see how EVERYTHING is meant to be.
ET: Strive to stand out. Fitting in never allows you to be unique. Look past your circumstances, and dream big. Our stories no matter how bad are meant to propel us into our best selves. Pain can be turned into power becuase the more wee seek wisdom as we grow the more we can see how EVERYTHING is meant to be.
LT: What is your legacy according to you?
ET: My legacy is to simply live as a light within the world, and to be a representation of the light within us all. I want others to see that imperfection and authenticity are freedom to the soul.
ET: My legacy is to simply live as a light within the world, and to be a representation of the light within us all. I want others to see that imperfection and authenticity are freedom to the soul.
LT: Where do you see yourself, 5 years from now?
ET: Wow, 5 years from now I see a magnificent Eb. I see myself speaking on worldwide stages, and having the platform and ability to have a business that allows me to hire others. I see myself in powerful positions (not politics) that allows my voice to be heard widely, and contribute to worldly impact. I'd love to be a UN advocate, as I believe we are all one, and the more we can understand and acknowledge that.. the more our world moves towards peace.
ET: Wow, 5 years from now I see a magnificent Eb. I see myself speaking on worldwide stages, and having the platform and ability to have a business that allows me to hire others. I see myself in powerful positions (not politics) that allows my voice to be heard widely, and contribute to worldly impact. I'd love to be a UN advocate, as I believe we are all one, and the more we can understand and acknowledge that.. the more our world moves towards peace.
LT: Words for me?
ET: Never doubt who you are. Never question what drives you. Never stop growing, and always lean into the things that trigger you. Things that bother us are always magnifiers into healing parts of ourselves. It is more in the nature of the soul to live in love than to live in fear, in all that we do. The more we operate in love, and understanding, the more impact we are able to provide.
ET: Never doubt who you are. Never question what drives you. Never stop growing, and always lean into the things that trigger you. Things that bother us are always magnifiers into healing parts of ourselves. It is more in the nature of the soul to live in love than to live in fear, in all that we do. The more we operate in love, and understanding, the more impact we are able to provide.
LT: How can people stay in touch with you? Links on insta n fb / website?
ET: I can be reached directly at hello@queensrecognizequeens, QueensRecognizeQueens.com, Instagram and Facebook at @QueensRecognizeQueens
ET: I can be reached directly at hello@queensrecognizequeens, QueensRecognizeQueens.com, Instagram and Facebook at @QueensRecognizeQueens
Thank you so much for the opportunity!!!!
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